


everyone hates roses

by silverislander



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: ... they might not be but i sure am, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Apologies, Clueless Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), F/F, Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, POV Dina (The Last of Us), but theres no tag for her, dina also needs a hug, disclaimer: i do not actually hate roses, errand running as a date, hell yeh florist x tattoo artist baybee!!, listen. ellie with more tattoos. thats what the wlw are into nowadays isnt it, literally just two losers, which is a crime jsyk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29234250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverislander/pseuds/silverislander
Summary: dina is working at a flower shop and valentines' orders are kicking her ass.  nothing ever really changes in jackson- nothing exciting, at least.however, upon meeting ellie, the tattoo artist from across the street, things might finally start getting interesting.
Relationships: Cat & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina & Jesse (The Last Of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Comments: 81
Kudos: 196





	1. cherry bomb

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter's title from the runaways' cherry bomb.

As her hands go into  _ yet another fucking pot of dirt _ , fifteen minutes to closing time, the thought idly crosses Dina’s mind that if one more person asks for “just a nice bouquet for my spouse”, she’s going to shoot them on the spot. Do they think Valentine’s Day is some kind of a fucking game or something?

It’s her third such bouquet of the day, this time for a bored-looking man who had told her to “just use flowers that say ‘I love you’ or something, it’s for the wife”. It had taken all her resolve not to snap back at him to Google some flowers for himself and tell her what to use, since there’s about a million combinations for his basic-ass request and she could make it look awful ugly if she really tried. As it was, she found herself picking white jasmine, myrtle, and (of course) red roses, all for this prick who couldn’t even be bothered to tell her if he liked the colour scheme, not that he deserved the care anyway.

She’s momentarily tempted to throw just one single burgundy dahlia in there- from the sound of his description of his wife, she’s the kind of person to look up the meanings of her bouquets and fawn over them, and it’s not like he’d notice anyways. It might be satisfying, just for the chance to ruin this guy’s day. She holds herself back from it, though, and instead just cashes him in with a tight-lipped smile and a classic customer-service-voice farewell.

It might be surprising, but Dina hates Valentines’ Day. Not the day itself- she’s fine with the cheesy cards and really, she loves the idea of a holiday just for love- but as a florist? She hates it with a burning passion. Sure, there might be some great orders, and she had loved making that breakup bouquet for a cheating wife that had been ordered last week, but for the most part it’s an excuse for every shitty  _ valued customer _ in a mile to come in and demand some incredibly vague order and get mad when it doesn’t look perfectly like their mental image. Ordering flowers just for their meanings feels like a weird way to brag, like expensive jewelry; money shouldn’t be an indicator of love, Dina thinks.

She is sick to death of people not helping her with even a suggestion, and no matter how much she loves her job or how much Jesse makes fun of her for stomping around the store as she takes care of the plants, she hates it.

The second the man leaves the store, she slumps over the counter, lets herself yell into her hands, and starts to close up. She’s already thinking about the leftover cheesecake from Talia’s birthday in her apartment and outright yearning to sit on the couch in her pajamas and fall asleep to her favourite movie. All she has to do is get the keys from the cabinet behind the counter and lock up, and she has her hands on the keys already.

And then the  _ fucking _ bell over the door rings, and Dina feels like maybe, just this once, murder might be totally justifiable.

“We’re closed!” she barks, a little harsher than she’d normally be with a client, but she’s fucking exhausted and she wants to go home. It's a Friday night, for fuck's sake. If this guy has another stupid vague request, she’s seriously considering giving them a couple monkshood blooms on the house and telling them to fuck all the way off.

The voice from the doorway, though, is soft and apologetic. “Oh, uh- sorry, I didn’t know. Lights are on, so I just… kind of assumed.”

Dina turns around to see a girl- a very  _ attractive _ girl- who could not possibly contrast more with the cheery pastels and bright lights of the shop’s interior. She’s about average height, broad shoulders, a little taller than Dina (not that that takes much) with auburn hair tied back in a bun. When she turns her head to peer around a nearby shelf, Dina can see that the bottom half of it is shaved close to the skin. She wears a pair of dark jeans, a black shirt and a jean jacket with the sleeves rolled up over her elbows, completely covered in buttons and patches and safety pins. She has a few piercings- one in her nose and multiple in both ears, all silver metal.

The most striking things about her, however, are the tattoos covering her body. There’s some kind of blooming skull on the front of her neck, a few fern leaves on her right forearm and swirling black ink covering her left completely, spilling down onto the back of her hand. The rips in her jeans show more ink underneath. It covers most of her visible skin, only leaving her face and most of her hands- there’s even something on her knuckles, too, where the bone is close to the surface. Wouldn’t that have hurt? She’s probably used to the pain with that many tattoos, though, Dina thinks to herself.

Her mother would’ve said the girl looked like a delinquent. Dina’s not about to lie to herself- she’s always been weak for a bad girl.

All of this sharp, dark exterior betrays her awkward demeanour, fiddling with her hands and tapping the toe of a ratty black sneaker against the tiles. The girl could not look less confident or comfortable. It’s a bit endearing, and Dina almost isn’t mad about being interrupted before closing. Almost.

“I’ll just come back tomorrow,” the girl says, thumbing behind her and turning to go.

“It’s ok,” Dina blurts out, dropping the keys on the counter. What? No, it’s not, she’s going home. To her  _ cheesecake _ . Her stomach grumbles silently.

“Oh, you sure?” Her eyes are a really nice shade of green, Dina notices. Right now, they’re wide and sweetly unsure, but still holding contact with her own. “Looked like you’re leaving. I don’t want to keep you if you’re on the way home, I hate when people do that.”

Dina sighs inwardly, but smiles genuinely and beckons her forward. “Don’t worry about it. What are you looking for?”

She walks up to the counter with an easy, laid-back stride, and how the hell is the way she  _ walks _ hot? Dina has some kind of problem. Her next words, however, are like a gift from the heavens: “It might be kind of specific, so… sorry in advance.” She scratches the back of her head and smiles, a little sheepish and completely unaware of the way she may have just made Dina’s day.

Dina’s eyes and her smile both widen, and she leans over the counter to stare deeply at her. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Tell me more, ah...” She tilts her head in a silent question.

“Ellie,” she supplies with a grin and a nod. She seems to relax a little, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“So what’s the occasion, Ellie?” Dina asks.

“Okay, so-” Ellie explains, waving her hands as she goes- “I work across the street at Bulldog- you know, the tattoo place? One of my friends is having her anniversary next week, it’s their one year, and she was gonna bring her girlfriend to the shop for dinner, and I know that sounds like, super fuckin’ weird, but it’s where they met and they both agreed. Me and the guys were thinking, they’re coming over for dinner and then hanging out a bit, I think? So we were thinking maybe we could do up the shop as a little prank for them when they get there.”

“Prank flowers?” Dina asks, lifting an eyebrow. This was going to be one of the more memorable requests of the month.

“We’re going to turn the place into a fancy restaurant,” Ellie tells her, eyes shining with glee. “Y’know, nice music, a bunch of candles, Manny’s gonna dress up like a waiter, the whole works. We want to do something nice for her. She’s gonna lose it, I can’t wait to see her face.”

“I still don’t see how flowers factor into this,” Dina says.

“Well, we need centerpieces and maybe some nice stuff to put up around.”

The million dollar question- Dina silently prays she’ll say yes as she casually asks, “Do you have any ideas to start with?”

Ellie nods and starts to pull a small notebook out of the back pocket of her loose jeans, laying it between them on the counter. Inside, she’s made a list of flower names and meanings, and a couple tiny but impressive drawings of them, too. Dina inwardly screams with joy. This is more precision that she had ever asked for.

“Cat- that’s my friend, the one who works with me- her favourite colour is orange, and so I was thinking maybe orange carnations, because those mean happiness. Her girlfriend likes blue, so then maybe we could put them with delphinium, because that’s for celebrating and emotions, I think. That’s the one that looks like this, right?” She taps one of the drawings with a finger, one with the letter “K” tattooed on it. It’s a beautiful sketch, and looks exactly like the delphiniums Dina’s been taking dutiful care of for the past few weeks.

“I think they’d look really nice together,” Dina muses, “but there might be a problem with the carnations.”

“What?”

“Orange flowers usually mean hatred.”

“Fuck,” Ellie mutters, dropping her head.

“The meanings are pretty loose, so you might be able to get away with it because it can also mean happiness-”

“No, she’ll definitely notice that, I don’t want to risk it.” Ellie sighs and rubs her forehead. “She’s a nerd, she likes symbolism and shit.”

Dina hums, considering. “Well, if she likes  _ symbolism and shit _ -” Ellie grins at her sudden casualness- “then why don’t we stick with that instead of limiting ourselves to colour?” Dina nods towards one of the rows of potted flowers. “The delphiniums are a great start, though. I really like those.”

“We spent an hour googling flower meanings in the shop last night, I can’t believe nobody figured that out,” Ellie mumbles, walking over to inspect a bush of white heliotrope flowers. She touches it gingerly- Dina finds herself enamoured with her gentleness, acting like she could break the little flowers if she wasn’t too careful.

“It’s alright. Why don’t we figure some other ideas out, huh?”  
“I thought you were closed.” Ellie smirks at her, and oh, she’s _hot_ now. It takes a minute for Dina’s brain to come back online, but she grins back, pulls out the two stools that she and Jesse reserve for breaks, and waves her over.

“I think we can make an exception.”

* * *

“So obviously, red roses are the classic choice,” Dina starts.

“But?” Ellie grins. From this close, Dina can make out the black-and-white skull on her neck. The sprouting sections at the top, she realizes, are various symmetrical shelf mushrooms.  _ Weird choice, but it definitely suits her _ , she thinks to herself. She’s got freckles, too, flecked all over her skin, and a sweet, handsome kind of face.

“They’re kind of boring.”

“So what would you suggest instead?” Ellie actually sounds excited, leaning forward to speak. Dina hasn’t had a customer like this in a while- it’s a great change.

Dina considers it for a moment. “People are all looking for flowers that mean love for this kind of stuff, but why don’t we go with something a little different? You said Cat would appreciate the symbolism. It’s an anniversary, which means…”

“They’re… in love?” Ellie shrugs.

“Yeah, but let’s think deeper here. It means they’re  _ loyal _ ,” Dina explains, leaning forward and taking the notebook from Ellie’s hand- her left one reads “call” across her knuckles, and Dina wonders why. “You’ve got some good ideas here for a newbie. These drawings are amazing, too.”

“Thanks.” Ellie looks away as she smiles. “Kind of comes with the profession.”

“You do lots of flowers?” Dina asks, amused.

“You have no idea,” Ellie groans. “I could draw roses in my sleep.”

“No roses, got it,” Dina jokes. “Actually, I was thinking of one you don’t have written here.”

“Oh, what?” Her eyes widen and she perks up.

“We could use orange sunflowers,” Dina suggests. “It’s like the only orange flower that isn’t a betrayal, a declaration of hatred or a straight-up death omen. They mean loyalty.”

“Jesus, Cat,” Ellie mutters, “you couldn’t have a worse favourite colour, could you?”

Dina giggles. “They’ll probably still be nice with the delphiniums, too, so we can keep those.”

“Oh, awesome, that was my dad’s idea.”

“You asked your dad for help with your friend’s anniversary bouquets?”

“He likes to garden sometimes,” Ellie defends. “He’s like the only flower guy I know. He recommended this place, said his brother owns it.”

“ _ Flower guy _ ,” Dina muses. “Not a florist?” Ellie groans and puts her head in her hands.

“I’m trying, okay?”

“Well, now you know another guy. For flowers, of course,” she teases. “I’m Dina, by the way. Dina Carvalho.”

“I know, it’s on your nametag.” Fuck. Obviously.

“Right. Okay, so what else?.... We need some filler flowers and some greenery. The sunflowers are gonna be the biggest, so they’ll have to be the main focus.”

“Uh… I don’t know.” Ellie scratches the back of her head, furrowing her brows and looking around. She has a little scar through her right one, like an old scrape or a spot where a piercing grew out.

“Those are pretty,” she says, pointing at the sad little pot of white cyclamen in the corner. One of the least popular choices in the store, Dina has been keeping them alive out of a vaguely concerning amount of love alone.

“I think so too, but unfortunately they mean separation, so they won’t be of much use to us today. It’s a shame cyclamen never get used, I think they’re cute.”

Dina’s watch beeps suddenly, and she looks down at the time in surprise. Twenty minutes past closing? Her boss will kill her if she doesn’t close up on time again, although admittedly her problem is usually with being too early.

“You gotta go?” Ellie asks, looking a little disappointed, and Dina is torn. She can’t stay any longer, she’s already late, but she kind of really wants to keep talking to Ellie. Something about her is just intriguing, and she wants to know more.

She makes the kind of snap decision that Talia is always on her ass about. “Yeah, but are you still free?”

“I don’t have any plans for the night.”

“You should head to Bonus Round with me for a drink.”

“Like- for the flowers?” Ellie stammers. Dina almost backtracks at her panic, but the sight of a striped pink and orange patch (in the shape of the NASA logo?) on her right sleeve is like a sign from the universe, and instead she fires back, leaning in and watching her eyes go wide.

“I was hoping for a date, but I’ll let you decide.”

* * *

“Damn, this is actually kind of tough,” Ellie says once they’re settled in, a beer in front of each of them and both poring over her notebook. They’d decided to finish up the bouquets to kick off the night- Dina felt like it could be a good enough icebreaker, but she supposes she’ll see soon enough.

Dina feigns offense. “Oh, so you thought my job is easy?”

Ellie’s eyes widen and she waves her hands furiously. “No! I just meant this is harder than I- I mean- fuck, I’m sorry-”

“Calm down,” Dina laughs, “I’m fucking with you.” Ellie crosses her arms and rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling.

“You’re terrible,” Ellie mutters. She licks her lips subtly, and Dina catches the quick flash of silver under the bar’s dim reddish light.  _ She has her  _ tongue _ pierced? _ Dina mentally files that interesting piece of information away for later.

“We’ve already got some nice contrast with the orange and blue, so let’s get some plain pieces and greens to fill it out,” Dina suggests.

“Right. I have uh, matty-ola here,” Ellie reads off her book. “The white kind is for adoration and beauty, right?”

“I’m almost impressed.”

“Only almost?”

“Well, it’s pronounced matthiola,” Dina supplies, holding back a laugh. “But your guess on the meaning was spot on.”

Ellie curses under her breath, but nods and takes another sip of her drink.

“I think we can fit in one more flower and then we can use some filler pieces too. What else did you bring?”

“I don’t really have much else. The orange thing kind of knocks off half the list, and all the other blue ones are big, sorry.” Ellie offers her an apologetic smile.

“You mean I’ll have to spend more time talking to you? What an absolute nightmare.” Dina grins and takes a sip of her own drink, holding purposeful eye contact. Ellie’s eyes drop to her throat when she swallows in a very satisfying way.

“You’ll just have to put up with me, I guess.” Ellie closes the notebook and slips it back in her pocket, drumming her hands on the table. “So more white, do you think? Or is that too wedding-y now, do we have too much white?”

“I think we’re still in the clear. Give me some ideas of their personalities as a couple. They met at a tattoo parlour, so I’m gonna guess they’re adventurous, right?”

Ellie winces. “I wish I knew a little less about their adventures, to be honest.”

Dina laughs, taken a little off guard. “Wow, okay.”

“Is there a flower that means ‘kinky as fuck?’” Ellie asks, looking almost genuinely curious. The upturned corner of her mouth gives her away, though, and it breaks into a full grin when Dina laughs again.

“I was considering valerian. It means they’re prepared for anything, so… pretty close.”

“Holy shit, there  _ is _ a kinky flower,” Ellie whispers.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Dina scolds her, but Ellie smiles at her anyway. “And finally, we need green.”

“I know a guy for that,” Ellie whispers, looking around furtively.

“Hm, maybe later.” She grins. “So for your flowers, I always like to have a few big pieces of greenery instead of lots of little ones, but that’s just a personal preference. I can think of three options, and I have a favourite, but of course it’s ultimately your choice.”

“Let’s hear 'em.”

Dina counts them off on her fingers. “One: myrtle. It symbolizes love and has long stems with the leaves sticking off it, kind of like your delphiniums. My only problem with it is that it’s also a well-known symbol of marriage, and you really don’t want to make it awkward.”

“Myrtle is out,” Ellie replies immediately.

“Two: ivy. It’s not only a Christmas plant, it symbolizes love, fidelity and affection. It has kind of broad leaves, which I like in an outer trimming, and you have some options on colour here because it can be dark or light. And three: fern.”

“I like ferns,” Ellie nods.

“I can tell, you got one tattooed and everything,” Dina laughs. Ellie’s face reddens a little and she laughs quietly, scratching the back of her neck with that same arm. “So I’d assume I don’t need to tell you the meaning.”

“New life,” Ellie murmurs, staring at her own ferns.

“As well as confidence and uniqueness of character,” Dina adds. Ellie looks surprised, but smiles at her. “It could even be a nice personal touch, coming from you.”

“I think the ferns will be neat with them.”

“Great.”

“Which one was your favourite?” Ellie asks, spinning her beer bottle on the table between her hands.  _ She has nice hands _ , Dina remarks.

“You picked it.”

“Oh, awesome.” She grins at Dina before frowning. “Wait, fuck, I can’t pay you, we’re outside the store. Sorry.”

Dina had, to be honest, kind of forgotten about this small detail in her excitement to get to know Ellie. She wasn’t about to let this girl go away flowerless or do anything that would make her boss accuse her of stealing, though.

“Don’t worry about it. Come by tomorrow morning, I’ll check you out.”

“Oh, you will, will you?” Now that her job is officially done, Dina wants nothing more than to throw professionalism out the window and fully be able to flirt with this girl.

“Well,” she starts, lowering her voice, “I already was, but I meant for the money. Can you really blame me, though?” She settles a hand on Ellie’s forearm and traces the leaves with her short nails, watching with pride as her pale face flushes a little more than could be blamed on the alcohol.

“So, did you ever make up your mind?” Dina asks innocently.

“About what?” Ellie half-whispers.

“Are we on a date or what?”

It’s Ellie’s turn to look dumbstruck, but she recovers and responds, with only a hint of a blush, “You know, I’d like that. If you’re comfortable with it, of course.” Her tone is genuine and almost surprised, and she gives Dina a small, hopeful smile that makes her heart stop just a little.

“I am very comfortable with that,” Dina murmurs, her hand stilling on Ellie’s arm as she smiles back.

Ellie smiles down at the table and sips her drink. “Then I guess I should get to know you properly.”

They talk for far longer than they should, considering Dina (and Ellie too, she learns) have work early the next morning. Ellie is the same age as her and likes music, comic books and space; she proudly shows off her left arm’s full sleeve of various planets, rockets and constellations and tells Dina about the little references she snuck into it from her favourite sci-fi comic, and Dina greatly enjoys getting to stare shamelessly at her arms once she takes her jacket off fully, leaving her in a loose t-shirt.

She talks about her father and quietly sings her the notes of the tattoo she got in his honour, a few bars of music over the delicate neck of a guitar- her own guitar, made by him, she explains. Her voice is low and a little rough when she talks, but clear and on pitch in song, and Dina finds herself asking more questions in hopes to hear it again and again. She got into tattooing almost by accident- an ex had done her first one (her ferns) and she had become completely enamoured, and with a background in art, it was shockingly easy to get a foot in the door for an apprenticeship. Ellie is a complete dork under all her exterior, and Dina finds her adorable.

As for Dina herself, she tells Ellie about her life; working at the flower shop isn’t her only ambition, and as an engineering student she has some big dreams for the future- namely, getting the hell out of Jackson. She likes to garden too, though, and bake, and in her spare time she loves to read as well. Ellie valiantly tries to argue that this must mean she’s a stuffy nerd who doesn’t appreciate the value of comics, and Dina enjoys seeing the awestruck look on her face as she shuts her down with more obscure X-Men trivia than anyone should know. Ellie seems genuinely interested in everything Dina offers, even the story of her awkward, horribly-planned coming-out at sixteen. It’s a nice feeling, being listened to like this.

“So, do you think you would ever be open to getting a tattoo?” Ellie asks, grinning. “You should come to the shop, we’re pretty good. I could do it for you if you want.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to get your hands on me,” Dina retorts with a smirk of her own.

“And if I am?” Ellie’s face is pink, and while she’s not quite tipsy, the booze is clearly taking effect on her.

“Unfortunately, I’d still have to say no. Tattoos aren’t really considered okay in Judaism, and I’m pretty sure my mom would kill me if she ever found out.”

“Oh. Well, you should come by anyway.” Ellie gestures a lot when she talks, and Dina wonders if it’s a habit or just nerves. She’s already had four close calls on smacking her bottle off the table.

“Why is that?”

She counts her reasons off on her fingers. “Well, you can get a layout so we know where to put the flowers, you can meet the guys, I’d get to talk to you some more…” She shoots Dina a smirk. “Possibilities are endless, really.”

“Tell you what,” Dina laughs, glancing down at her watch, “It’s late. I gotta go.”

“Oh,  _ boo _ . You’re boring.”

“I was going to give you my number, jackass.” She stands to take her jacket and purse, and Ellie’s eyes follow the line of her arms as she slips them on.

“I take it back,” Ellie replies, raising her hands in surrender.

“So I’ll give you my number, you come by first thing tomorrow to pay and again in a couple days so we can make sure the flowers look good. I’ll go with you on my lunch break, and you can show me around. Sounds good to you?”

“Sounds great. You think that counts as a second date?” She raises her eyebrows, fishing a cracked phone out of the pocket of her jacket. “You can decide this time.”

Dina nods as she puts in her number and saves the contact in the other girl’s phone- her name with a little sunflower emoji beside it. Turning to leave, she catches Ellie still watching her. When she does, Ellie’s face flushes, and she looks to the ground, scratching at the side of her nose.

“I’d love that,” Dina says softly, before opening the door and starting to head home. She smiles all the way to the bus stop.

She even forgets entirely about her cheesecake.


	2. i want you to want me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ellie and dina run some errands, and an unexpected visitor almost ruins everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from the cheap trick song of the same name.

The next few days are strangely bearable for Dina, despite the lack of sleep from that night and the fact that she still has terrible Valentines’ customers to deal with daily. She still has to do her work and endure every middle-aged customer having a tantrum over flowers, but it feels okay somehow. She had actual fun with an easy job, got to go on a great date afterwards, she’s been texting Ellie nearly nonstop, and at some point this week, Ellie is going to come back.

She’s halfway through watering the daffodil rows early on Wednesday morning when her phone vibrates again.

el: hey are you in today? i’m off all day so if those flowers are ready... ;)

di!!: i am! u should drop in and say hiiii

di!!: wait only for flowers >:( and here i thought you wanted to see ME...

el: oh i do

el: wanna hear your pretty voice again, i miss you

Dina grins like an idiot at that. If she’s being honest, she wants to hear Ellie again too, but there’s something special about Ellie calling any part of her pretty that makes her stomach flip.

el: i’ll be over in a few :)

Subtly, Dina looks over the rows of plants. No customers, and Jesse is whistling away to his earbuds in the back room, pretty well distracted from anything in the shop front. Good- he can be a bit obnoxious as a wingman, even though she loves him for trying. She fixes her ponytail and brushes some dirt off the elbows of her red long-sleeved shirt. Nothing wrong with trying to look nice, she figures, even as she feels a little dumb for doing so- acting like a lovestruck teenager over a girl she only met last week.

Not five minutes later, the bell rings and she hears the tapping of sneakers on the tiles. Dina- well, she doesn’t  _ rush _ , that would be embarrassing, but she heads to the counter, already hoping she knows who she’ll see.

She isn’t disappointed. Ellie is standing there in a big green coat and dark jeans, smiling at Dina with her hands shoved deep in her pockets. She’s left her hair down today and pulled on a black beanie, and she looks soft and warm with a sprinkling of snow still melting off her. It gives Dina the sudden impulse to hug her, cuddle into her and help warm her up.

“Hey,” Ellie says quietly.

“Hey, you,” Dina grins.

Ellie looks around dramatically before whispering, “You got the stuff?”

“Your flowers are over here, dumbass,” Dina laughs, motioning for her to follow as she walks to one corner of the store. Ellie walks behind her, head on a swivel, looking at every plant she passes with interest.

Dina picks one of the bouquets out of its little ceramic vase and gives it to Ellie with a flourish. “What do you think?”

Ellie studies it carefully, turning it around to see it from multiple angles. Dina holds her breath, almost nervous. She actually felt quite proud of her work: five small sunflowers as the main focus, a few dwarf delphinium stalks poking through and white matthiola and valerian filling the rest of the space, with the ferns wrapped around the outside. Something about it being real, though, seeing it in Ellie’s hands, makes her pray that it’s perfect, not just “good enough”.

Like she’s read her mind, Ellie looks up with a big grin across her face, and Dina’s heart skips a beat. She finds herself smiling back as Ellie replies, “It’s beautiful. They’ll love it.”

“Perfect. I made five, so that should definitely be enough.” Dina takes the flowers back and arranges them in the vase again, leaning back with her hands on the counter.

“Oh, yeah. We can only fit two tables in the main room, but we have two big windows at the front…” Ellie trails off, seemingly mapping the room in her head with little gestures of her hands. Dina stifles a laugh until she comes back to earth again. “Yeah, we’ll put the spare in her booth as a little keepsake.”

“That’s really sweet. You guys are so nice,” Dina sighs.

Ellie laughs, eyes wide. “Uh, no. Honestly, we’re a bunch of assholes. It’s her anniversary, that’s the only reason she’s getting a break.”

“Still.” Dina pushes off the counter, walking towards Ellie and stopping right in front of her, leaning in and bracketing Ellie’s hips with her hands on the table behind her. She leans in to whisper right in Ellie’s ear, and as she does, she hears her breath catch quietly. “I think it’s very romantic of you.”

She holds there for just a second before dropping off her tiptoes and stepping back to catch the astonished little grin on Ellie’s red face. She stutters something quietly, then takes off her beanie, combing through her hair with her fingers and directing her smile at the floor tiles.

“I’m looking forward to it, actually,” Ellie mumbles once she’s settled herself a bit again. “They’re good people, they deserve each other. I hope they have fun. Plus, I get a break for the night. What’s not to love?”

“You’re off tonight, too?” Dina asks.

“Yeah, I took the day. I’m in charge of getting all our stuff and the guys are gonna set up tonight.” Her face reddens again and she scratches the back of her neck. “We told Cat I’m sick so she won’t, like, get suspicious, and… now I can’t walk past the shop.”

“What? Being sick doesn’t mean you have to be  _ totally _ housebound, maybe your ‘allergies’-” Dina makes air quotes with her hands- “are just acting up-”

“I faked a picture because she didn’t believe me. I sent her this and everything, I think the guys told her I have a bad stomach bug.” Ellie fishes her phone out and shows Dina a picture of herself snuggled in bed holding up a peace sign with a small, sad smile. Her hair is a mess, her nose is comically red and she’s underneath a fluffy blue blanket covered in spaceships and comets. Someone’s finger is partially covering one corner of the lens.

“She thinks I’m at home barfing my guts up and Joel stayed back to take care of me,” Ellie mumbles. “Getting here was hell. I had to come around the back, take the long way from my place and sneak in the front when I knew she wouldn’t be at the front of  _ our _ shop. Fuck all those windows. Why the fuck do we both need so many windows?”

“Plants need sunlight, Ellie,” Dina deadpans.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Dina?” She hears Jesse call out, then footsteps, and internally groans. “Do we have a customer?”

“I’ve got it handled, Jesse, you can get back to- oh, okay,” she mutters as he appears in the doorway.

“Jesse, this is Ellie. Ellie, Jesse.”

“Oh, you must be that nice tattoo artist from last week Dina told me about!”  _ God damn it, Jesse _ , Dina thinks. Way to make her sound chill. “Nice to finally meet you. Dina’s been worrying her ass off on those all week, hope you like ‘em.” She internally envisions herself being swallowed by the flowers, never having to face this disaster of a conversation again.

“I do,” Ellie replies, reaching out to shake his hand. She smiles at Dina as she does it, though, and Jesse picks up on it immediately.

“So, mind if I ask what they’re for?” He shoots Dina a look, and it’s like they have a whole silent conversation with their expressions.

_ Who’s she? _

_ None of your business. _

_ So you like her, got it. _

Dina shoots him a pleading look-  _ please be chill _ . He raises his eyebrows with a small smile. Dina does not like the implications of that face.

“Oh, a friend’s anniversary. We’re decorating the shop for them, thought flowers would kind of be the final touch, you know?” Ellie rambles on obliviously.

“That’s nice. I’m sure they’ll love it.”

“I hope so.” Ellie turns to Dina and speaks a little quieter- not to intentionally leave Jesse out, just focused on her in that second. “I should probably be going, I had some more stuff to pick up. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come, but-”

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Jesse exclaims, throwing his arm around Dina. “D, you should totally go, that sounds fun.”

“It’s really not, it’s just errands-”

“And I mean, you got the day off, so you’re  _ completely free _ to do  _ whatever you want _ today-”

“She is?” Ellie looks at her with confusion, then to Jesse, then back to her.

“Jesse,” Dina sighs, “Can I speak to you for a second?”

“Excuse us.” Jesse nods politely to Ellie, and she nods back before he exits, followed by Dina.

Once they’re out of earshot, Dina hisses at him all in one breath, quiet and fast. “Jesse what the  _ fuck _ .”

“What? I’m doing you a favour.”

“I can’t just skip work, I need the money- why the fuck do you think I have a job?”

“Relax, I’ll cover for you. It’s a Tuesday, it’s not like we’re gonna get that many people. Plus, I have it on good authority that Maria can’t make it today.”  
Dina freezes. “Really?”

“Tommy said she’s doing some business in the next town over, she’s not coming back until tomorrow.” He grins at her. “So, you want to go with her?”

“I’ve never been so thankful to live somewhere where out-of-town trips take days at a time.”

“Go get your girl.” Jesse spreads his arms magnanimously. Dina gives him a quick hug before grabbing her coat.

“And- Dina?”

“Yeah?” She turns in the doorway to see him smirking at her.

“You didn’t deny it.”

Dina groans and stalks out of the room, leaving him laughing to himself behind her.

“So, you’re off?” Ellie asks, and there’s a little bit of hope in her eyes.

“I am off.”

“What happened, I thought you-”

“Scheduling error. Turns out I have the day.” She turns to Ellie and starts walking backwards to the door. “And I’d love to go with you.”

Ellie’s smile widens, and she catches up to Dina, shaking her keys in one hand. “Then let’s get going.”

* * *

“Thought a badass like you would have a motorcycle or something,” Dina jokes as she climbs into the battered silver pickup.

“I do, but she’s in the shop,” Ellie grins. “This piece of trash is Joel’s. I keep telling him to get something from a year past 2013, but he won’t listen to me.” Something about the idea of Ellie on a bike… now that’s a sight Dina’s interested in seeing.

“So first we’re gonna need more decorations,” Ellie explains, buckling her seatbelt. “Can’t only have flowers. We were thinking maybe some fairy lights, because we’re keeping it classy. Then we have some food ordered, so we have to pick that up too, and then finally we need tablecloths and napkins- nice ones.”

“The decorations should be easy, that new craft place on Bason finally opened.” Dina flips down the visor mirror, tightening her ponytail and giving herself a quick once-over one more time. She’s definitely not wearing an outfit she would’ve chosen for going out, but it’ll do, she supposes. She catches Ellie glancing at her and smiles to herself.

“We can go there first,” Ellie decides. “Hope you brought your decorating skills.”

Dina sucks air through her teeth, rifling through her bag, and grimaces apologetically at the girl in the driver’s seat. “Whoops, left them at home,  _ so _ sorry.”

“Are you just trying to bring me back to your place? We’ve got work to do, Dina.”

“I’m not!” she laughs, and then adds under her breath, just loud enough for Ellie to hear, “Well, not yet, at least.” Ellie’s eyebrows raise slightly and she glances out the side window, away from Dina, but she can see a hint of a smile in her cheeks from here.

Idly, she realizes that while Ellie can start the flirtation between them, she always pulls away when Dina throws it back. She wonders why.

* * *

To Ellie’s (unfortunately genuine) chagrin, the store has nothing nicer than dollar-store birthday plates and Spider-Man themed tablecloths.

“I’d love having a Spider-Man anniversary,” she grumbles to Dina on the way to another store. Her eyes widen suddenly, and she looks right at Dina. “Wait, Dina-”

“Ellie, watch the road!-”

“Dina,  _ Spider-Manniversary! _ ”

The excitement in her voice takes Dina completely off guard, and a laugh erupts from her, loud and uncontrolled. It’s not even that funny, but she’s laughing and Ellie’s laughing her ass off and Dina’s thinking,  _ maybe this is a pretty good day after all _ .

“Oh, my god, I’m so fucking good,” Ellie mutters under her breath, adjusting her grip on the steering wheel with a grin.

There’s a moment where it’s just them catching their breath and the muffled sound of Queen through the speakers. Ellie giggles quietly to herself again.

“So,” Dina starts, “how did you meet Cat? At work, or?...”

Ellie scratches her arm, flushing slightly. “Oh, uh- well, we dated for a while, actually.” Oh. Well, now Dina feels a little awkward for asking. “It was years ago,” she adds quickly.

“Oh, okay.”

“And it wasn’t even for a year, like, we weren’t serious at all.”

“Okay.”

“It really wasn’t anything.”

“Ellie. I believe you, calm down.” The girl in the drivers’ seat visibly untenses, grimacing down at the dashboard as if she had really been worried Dina would assume- what? That she had only just dumped Cat for her? That she was playing her or something? She might not have known Ellie for long, but there was something that felt honest about her. Dina feels, despite her own common sense, that she can trust her.

“Sorry. We dated, then she helped get me a job at the shop. Breaking up made that a little awkward for a while, but… she’s pretty great. We ended up pretty close friends.” Ellie blows out a sigh, drumming her fingers on the wheel. “I really hope this turns out nice. I want to do something good for her.”

“I’m sure it will,” Dina smiles. She reaches out and puts a hand on Ellie’s outstretched arm, the one with the ferns, and runs her nails over it gently. Ellie’s small smile grows wider, and she leans back into her seat and pulls into the parking lot.

“Last stop, hopefully.”  
“You think they’ll have Spider-Man here?” Dina gasps dramatically.

“God, they’d better.”

* * *

“Oh my god, I thought the cashier was never gonna stop,” Ellie complains, all in one breath, and bonks her head against the steering wheel.

“I know,” Dina groans, laughing.

“Do we really look close enough to be sisters?  _ Cousins _ even?” She starts the car, but doesn’t pull out yet. Dina gives this consideration.

“Definitely not.”

“ _ Thank _ you-”

“I’m  _ clearly _ much more attractive.”

Ellie sits in shock for a second before making a face and responding, “Yeah, that’s fair.” She shoots Dina a grin.

“What?”

“You’re way hotter than me,” Ellie replies casually. “You’re like, way out of my league.”

It surprises Dina a little, but the confirmation of Ellie’s opinion of her still warms her inside. It’s more than what she’s gotten so far, at least. She bites back a smile and retorts, “Are the dirt and grass stains doing something for you?”

“I’m being serious,” she laughs, and reaches over to push Dina gently. “You’re really pretty, and I like the whole cute farmer thing you have going on.”

“Cute farmer?” Dina mutters, raising an eyebrow with a grin.

Ellie groans, hiding her face in her hands. “Just- fuck, I’m trying here. You’re cute, that’s all. That’s all I was trying to say.”

“Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ellie replies softly. She leans forward and starts to pull her hair back into a small ponytail, and Dina leans towards her and takes her in for a second, dipping her eyes to her mouth, giving her a chance to back out-

And she does. Ellie is tense, her eyes fixed in the distance like she’s caught in her own head, and she pulls away just slightly. Dina sits back in her own space again, feeling a little awkward.

“Sorry,” Ellie murmurs quietly.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t like you or anything, it- just… I don’t know. I can’t. Shouldn’t.”

It feels like an odd way to word that boundary, but Dina’s not about to be a dick about it. If Ellie doesn’t want to be kissed, she doesn’t want to be kissed.

“Okay.”

“Well, not- not now, I do want- well- fuck, I can’t say this right,” she breathes, letting her head fall to the steering wheel and beeping it shortly, which startles her back, wide eyed. Dina starts to giggle despite herself, and it turns into a full laugh, and Ellie starts to laugh with her, and soon they’re both laughing loudly alone in the truck, neither quite meeting the other’s eyes yet.

“So,” Ellie says, once they’ve both tapered off, “we should probably get lunch.”

“Yeah.” Dina bites her lip to stop a widening smile.

“You wanna make this one a date too?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

It still kind of lingers in her mind, though. Why, if she does want it, won’t she-

It doesn’t matter.

* * *

They decide on a coffee shop not too far away, but Ellie declares that the distance is still far enough that nobody would rat her out for her sick day excuse. Dina likes it immediately; the inside is small, cozy and nicely decorated, and she mentally marks down the name for later.

They each get a coffee and a sandwich and settle into a table near the window. Ellie sheds her jacket, revealing a loose red tank top that, in Dina’s humble opinion, looks pretty damn good on her. The dark galaxy on her left arm wraps up around her shoulder, fading into the wide sleeve of the shirt, and in between the stars she has little freckles on her arms too. Dina is willing to admit that she’s a little ashamed of being so attracted to someone currently tearing into a sandwich like a rabid animal, but she supposes the heart wants what it wants.

“You hear about the moon?” Ellie asks abruptly, peering at the newspaper she had found on the table next to them.

“I’ve heard  _ of _ it.”

“They found water!” she continues, oblivious to Dina’s sarcasm. “That’s so cool. There’s water on the moon. I wonder what that means for future moon missions.” Her enthusiasm is genuine, and she squints at the paper like she’s desperate for any more information. Dina makes a mental note to bring out her best space-themed puns for her- Ellie, of all people, seems like she would truly appreciate them.

The little bell over the door rings, and because Dina’s practically been classically conditioned by the one in the flower shop, she turns to check who’s entering. It’s a girl about her age- choppy black hair, a bit taller than Ellie if she had to guess, wearing a snappy black coat and jeans that are practically decimated with rips. Like Ellie, the first thing that strikes Dina is the amount of tattoos spiraling up her neck and onto her cheeks. Hers are darker than Ellie’s and look more detailed- where Ellie has a few here and there, it feels like this girl had purposefully planned out her entire canvas.

Ellie peeks from the paper to see what Dina’s looking at, and her eyes immediately widen. She pulls the paper up so it covers her face like a terrible spy and quietly whispers a colourful string of swear words into it.

“What?” Dina asks, and Ellie shushes her.

“That’s Cat. Cat is here,” Ellie hisses.

“Oh.” Suddenly, Dina remembers the bag of flowers at her side- they’d taken them in so they wouldn’t have to be crushed, lying in the back of Ellie’s truck for hours. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah,  _ oh fuck! _ ” Ellie peers out, snapping her head back into the newspaper as soon as the woman’s head starts to turn even close to her direction. “Fuck!”

“Is she staying? I can’t turn around without making it obvious.”

Another glance. “Shit, I think so.”

“What do we do?”

“I don’t know, I was hoping you’d have an idea!”

“Why the fuck would I have an idea? I don’t even know the woman!”

Ellie sneaks another look and buries her head even further into the paper. “Oh my god, I think she’s coming over.”

Dina’s blood runs cold. Somehow, she’s already become very invested in a romantic surprise dinner for a woman she’s never met, and that dinner  _ cannot _ crumble now- not after all their hard work. She gently kicks her bag under the table, her heart screaming at the clinking sound her favourite boots make on the glass vases, and works her face into her best “everything is fine, officer” expression.

“Williams?” Dina doesn’t turn around to see if it was Cat speaking, just pretends to answer a text. “I thought you were busy dying or something.” 

“You wish,” Ellie retorts, reluctantly putting the newspaper down and turning to face Cat, who has found her way to their table. Dina looks up as if it’s the first time she’s noticed her. “How’d you even know it was me?”

“I know my art when I see it- you bitched about that linework so loud, I could never forget it.” Cat smirks and gestures to Ellie’s hands, which she grins at, but hides in her lap anyway. “Seriously though, why are you out? You looked pretty sick, and you don’t miss work for nothing.” Cat seems to have fully invited herself to their lunch, pulling up the chair from the next table over and plunking down next to Ellie, who is shrinking away, desperately attempting to look pathetic and ill. Dina decides to take mercy on her date.

“Actually, she really is sick. I drove her here and everything, she’s still a little loopy from the cold meds right now. I’m Dina, by the way!” She flashes her best smile and sticks her hand out for Cat to shake, who takes it with an equally friendly grin. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ellie shoot her a grateful look.

“Nice to meet you. I don’t think we’ve met, how do you two know each other?”

Dina starts to tell her they’re here on a date, hopefully it would drive her away, but-

“We’re just friends from high school,” Ellie cuts in.

… Okay. That stings a little, but maybe she has a reason to hide their shared interest. Dina’s willing to roll with the platonic thing for a minute.

“We just got back from the doctor’s, and Ellie was feeling so bad, I thought I’d cheer her up with some tea.”

“I didn’t think you liked tea,” Cat says slowly, raising an eyebrow at Ellie, who coughs loudly.

“Nah, uh, the stuff here is great, I only like this place’s tea.” She grabs Dina’s drink- chai, no milk or sugar- from across the table and takes a sip, poorly hiding a grimace.  _ God, she’s such a bad liar that it’s cute _ .

“Alright. Well, it’s been nice to meet you, Dina.” Cat stands, putting her chair back. “Guess I should be going- don’t wanna catch whatever you’ve got for sure.” She ruffles a hand through Ellie’s hair, who grumbles and bats it away. “See you tomorrow, loser.”

“See ya,” Ellie calls back with an obviously fake rasp in her voice. The second Cat’s gone, she slams her palms flat on the table and closes her eyes with a sigh. “Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver.”

“You’re welcome,” Dina grins. “Growing up with strict parents, you learn to lie fast and lie well.”

“Well, thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Carvalho.”

They eat in silence for a while, and although it’s comfortable, Dina is worrying most of the time. Between Ellie’s nonresponses to her flirting, her stopping their almost-kiss and now denying that they’re anything more than friends, she’s confused. She says she wants to go on a date… and then actively shuts down almost every romantic interaction they could have had? It’s just a little strange.

It’s probably nothing, though. She’s got to stop torturing herself with this. It’s nothing.

* * *

Outside the shop, Ellie drops her off. Dina makes a point of keeping their conversation going, not quite ready to leave, and at last says, “I really enjoyed that.”

“I mean, we kinda just did a bunch of chores, but I’m glad you had fun.” Ellie’s smile is sweet, and she looks down, pulling at her fingers.

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. It was a pretty nice date after all.”

Her smile brightens, and she meets Dina’s eyes again, taking a step closer. Dina’s heart beats faster, and she leans in. Ellie’s green eyes fall to her lips and back up, and Dina can see how wide her pupils are, and Ellie lifts one hand to Dina’s cheek (it tingles where they touch)-

And the fucking bell above the door rings, and someone walks out. Ellie steps back quickly, shoving her hands in her pockets like they’d been burned.

“I should really be going, I guess.” The emotion that was on her face closes off fast, like she had never meant to let it out in the first place.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Dina sighs, falling back off her tiptoes.

“What?”

“You keep… telling me you want this and then just pulling away.” She tries to keep her voice level, and she feels like a total jerk, but god, Ellie’s got to know what she’s doing. There’s no way she doesn’t. “You do like me, right?”

“I mean, yeah,” Ellie stutters, “yes, absolutely.”

“Are you sure?” The last thing she wants is to pressure her or something.

“Yes.”

“Then can you at least come give me a goodbye hug or something?” Dina’s voice is small, and she feels so fucking needy, so pathetic.  _ Asking _ for a hug at the end of a date. A date that she had thought was going well.

Ellie sighs and shuts her eyes tightly. “I- Dina, I can’t.”

“Why not? It’s fine that you don’t want to kiss me, I understand, but it’s not just that, you shut  _ everything _ down. You even do it when we just talk. If you want this… why do you keep pulling away?”

“I can’t tell you, okay?”

That sets Dina off. “You can’t tell me. You can’t talk with me, you can’t hug me, you won’t kiss me and you won’t tell me why, and those are fine, but- you’ve said yourself you want this.” She wipes at the tears that have somehow gathered without approval. “Ellie, I know you like me, I can see how much you want this, so what the fuck is stopping you? I’m giving you permission, alright? Whatever you want, anything you’re comfortable with, just- just give me something here. I want to understand.”

“I can’t.” She’s so quiet that the wind in the street makes it hard to hear. There’s another sentence that she does lose, something like “you won’t get it”.

That hurts, this total lack of trust, but Dina can’t do this. She doesn’t want every bit of emotion to feel like she’s begged for it. She’s been there before, and it hurts too much. But at the same time… fuck, she just doesn’t want to lose her.

“Okay.” She nods. “Listen, you have my number, you can call me whenever you’re willing to really talk, but I can’t do this. I want to get to know you, maybe even start a relationship with you, but that can’t work if you won’t talk to me. See you around, Ellie.”

There’s a pause while Dina’s walking back to her own car, but quietly, she hears her respond. “Bye.” Her voice is rougher, like she’s about to cry, and she watches as Ellie, shoulders tense, walks back to the truck and drives off.

The second she’s gone, Dina lets a few of her own frustrated tears fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... oof
> 
> so honestly i'm a lil worried abt how that last scene went?? this chapter took a Lot of rewrites to get to a point that i finally liked, mostly bc i didn't want dina to come off as just totally ignoring ellie's boundaries, but i'm still not sure if it was written in an honest, respectful way. basically: having boundaries in relationships is fine + healthy, completely blocking out someone you like is not, and ellie and dina both have some issues irt those that they're gonna have to hash out. lmk if that bit worked out ig, i'd love to know <3


	3. beth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the two meet up for coffee, hoping to make amends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter named after the song beth by kiss.

Dina throws herself into her work entirely after that day- anything to keep her mind off of it. She hadn’t wanted to hurt Ellie, and it had hurt her to reject her like that, but it just wasn’t a good idea. Ellie clearly has some kind of baggage, and if she doesn't want to talk about it, then she needs time to herself to deal with it. Dina isn’t going to fix everyone’s problems; she’s learned better.

That’s how you get hurt- giving too much of yourself away.

She nearly regrets telling Jesse; he’s disappointed for her, but he tries to take care of her a little more than she likes, trying to get her to take more breaks than she needs and subtly hinting that she should expect a call from Ellie, that  _ she would be pretty dumb not to call, she’d be lucky to have you _ . Soon enough she snaps at him, and she regrets that too.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles once she sees his hurt expression. “It’s not you. Thank you for trying to help.”

“Anytime.” He sinks into his break chair right across from hers, leaning forward in that way of his. “Do you want me to lay off? Are you, like… good?”

“It just-” She sighs. “I’m sad about it, yeah, but I’ll live. It’s not my job to wait for her. The ball’s in her court now- it’s not my problem what she does.”

“But you still want her to call.” Jesse guesses quietly.

“... I do.” She shakes her head. “I just don’t know if… if what I did was okay. I mean, was that an asshole move?”

“Alright.” Jesse stands from his stool with a little huff of breath, resting his hand on her shoulder and shaking it gently. “I know you, Di. I’ve been there- I’ve seen you fucked up over a lot of people who weren’t willing to be emotional with you, and I know that’s gotta hurt. But is it your job to fix them?” He gives her a look, eyebrows raised, like he knows there’s a correct answer.

Dina shakes her head, wiping at her eyes. “No, and I know that.” Jesse nods in agreement.

“Dina, I don’t want you to get hurt, okay? If she can’t open up and be honest with herself, you can’t make her.” She nods, biting her lip.

“Listen, I think you get this whole thing. You were right, this isn’t your job, and you shouldn’t have to do anything. You’ve done enough. But for your sake, I hope she calls.”

Dina smiles at him through watery eyes. “Thanks, Jesse.”

“Because you need to stop cutting the plants while you’re distracted. I saw some roses with weird petals the other day, and I don’t think they make ‘em with jagged edges like that-”

“Goddamnit, Jesse-”

“And I hope she calls because it would make you happy, of course.” He grins, but it’s genuine. “If you do want advice, I’m always here.”

Dina rolls her eyes, but stands and accepts the hug he offers her. “Thank you,” she mumbles.

When she does get back to work, it’s for an anonymous order. It’s not a particularly nice-looking bouquet, though. Valentines’ Day has passed, and Dina supposes some of her many apology orders could even be from the same folks who gave her grief the week prior over flowers for spouses and dates. She can’t say the thought doesn’t tickle her a bit.

Tiger lilies, fern and white cyclamen. That’s… weird at best. It doesn’t even look that good in a bouquet, Dina thinks as she puts it together, and the meaning is a mess, especially for an apology (if that truly is what it’s intended to be). Still, the fern brings back thoughts she’s trying her best to forget about. She wraps it up quickly, fixes it in a nice ribbon and moves on with her day.

Ellie doesn’t call that day. It’s been one week and a day of radio silence.

* * *

The ugly bouquet has disappeared when Dina comes in the next morning. She doesn’t exactly miss the little eyesore; she just sort of continues on with her day.

After the chaos of Valentine’s and the ensuing final wave of apology flowers, things had quickly gotten back to routine in the shop. In a small town like Jackson, "routine" for them meant few orders at best, and Dina has spent the majority of her days puttering about the shop, tending to the flowers and goofing off with Jesse when their supervisor Maria isn’t looking. Things return to normal- the kind of normal where the days are short and nothing new happens beyond a feel-good newspaper story, the kind that chafes against Dina’s skin, the kind that she’s never truly wanted to settle for.

Every time her phone buzzes, she’s embarrassed at how her heart jumps before she realizes it’s just a text from her sister or a friend. Even trying her hardest, she just can’t seem to get Ellie out of her head for long.

Which is why when her phone buzzes again, she nearly drops it upon reading the text she gets.

el: can we talk? face to face

el: i’d rather not do this over the phone

Dina’s stomach flips. Do what, exactly? Oh, god, this wasn’t going to work out, Ellie was going to chew her out for giving her a stupid ultimatum-

Her phone buzzes again.

el: sorry, that sounded super fucking ominous. i wanna talk about why i was acting weird

el: whatever time is fine for you, i’m off all day

el: … not faking sick this time, promise

Dina does genuinely take a moment to consider if this is the right thing to do. That moment lasts about thirty seconds before she texts back.

di!!: i’m off at four, can we meet by the coffee shop? we can talk at that park across the street, but i’m going to need some caffeine after my shift

el: absolutely. thank you

el: i hope i can make it up to you

* * *

It’s cold out, and as Dina checks the time again (just to ensure that she really did get it right), a shiver runs through her. Her brown jacket didn’t seem to be quite enough to block the brisk wind. She hopes Ellie gets there soon.

Her phone buzzes, and as she picks it up she almost feels some kind of panic- what if Ellie is about to cancel last-minute?- but she forces herself to check it anyway.

mullet man: Is she there yet?

di!!: jesse it’s been like five minutes

di!!: i promise i will be fine

mullet man: Dina if she doesn’t show I’m coming to get you myself ok

di!!: dude

di!!: I DROVE MYSELF HERE

mullet man: Ok sorry. Just make good choices

“Hey.”

There’s more to the message, but a quiet voice startles her out of her focus. Ellie is there, hands shoved deep into the pockets of her jacket. She seems well-equipped for the chilly spring weather: black coat, brown work boots and a huge, multicoloured scarf around her neck. There’s a backpack slung over one shoulder. She smiles, but only slightly, even less than before.

“Hey, yourself.” Dina offers a small grin in return, and Ellie’s brightens just a little.

“So, will we go over to the park now, or…?”

“Sure,” Dina suggests hesitantly. “Coffee would be nice first, though.” She wants to make fun of Ellie’s order- barely coffee at all, a disgustingly sweet mocha that honestly had disturbed Dina just a little bit- but it doesn’t feel right to do. Until this was worked out, Dina didn’t feel good about doing anything flirty, intentionally or otherwise.

“Sure.” Ellie makes an ‘after you’ gesture with a gloved hand.

Nobody’s in the cafe so they get served quickly, which Dina is thankful for. Ellie seems like she’s holding back, and the silence that she’s sure Ellie thinks is polite is just awkward and grating. It’s good coffee though, strong and just sweet enough, and Ellie offers to pay for both of them, which is also quite sweet in its own way.

After a quiet moment along the sidewalk heading to their destination, Dina gathers up the courage to ask, “How did your friends like their flowers?”

Ellie smiles, but she looks down and away from Dina as she laughs quietly. “They loved them. Thanks.”

“Glad to hear it.”

The park across the street is small; just a few trees, a walkway and some playground equipment currently in use for a snowball fight that looks to be of downright historic importance to the few kids involved.

“Shit, they’re really going at it,” Ellie mutters. It’s the first unprompted thing she’s said, and it makes Dina crack a smile.

“You think we could take ‘em?” Ellie looks up in surprise to see Dina grinning at her. “We could totally fuck them up.”

Ellie dissolves into laughter, and it’s like the tension is melting slightly as she shoulder-bumps Dina. “Oh, man, I wish. We’d destroy those little suckers.”

They make their way to a part of the park with a waist-high stone divider between the walking path and the small garden above it. In lieu of a bench, Dina hops up onto the brick under the shade of a leafy tree and motions for Ellie to follow, patting the spot next to her. Ellie hauls herself up and sits with one leg partially tucked underneath her, turning to face Dina. Her eyes are fixed down on her hand as she fiddles with a boot lace, and she won’t seem to meet Dina’s own.

“So…” Dina starts.

“Yeah,” Ellie mutters almost inaudibly.

“What did you want to say?” Dina asks gently. Ellie breathes deeply and looks up from her boot.

“I want to start by apologizing.” Her eyes are genuinely sad, a little pleading. “You were right. I pull away when people show interest, and I know that must feel… sort of shitty. I didn’t mean to do that to you.”

Dina nods and gives her a reassuring smile, but stays silent- it feels like she wants to continue.

“I know that that’s a problem of mine, and I- I want to make it make sense for you. I want to explain.” She picks up her drink, not to sip from, but twists it between her hands in much the same way she had spun her beer that night at the bar.  _ Is she nervous? _ “Only if that’s okay with you.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Dina murmurs.

“Okay.” Ellie takes a decisive breath. “So I told you about my dad, and- we’re really close. He adopted me when I was fourteen, and I kinda owe him my life, I guess, because he pulled me out of a really shitty place. He means a lot to me.” Dina nods, not quite following how this relates.

“A few- uh, back in my first year of university, um. Something bad happened to him.” Dina notices Ellie’s hands in her lap, tapping and folding and opening. She was right- Ellie was nervous.

“Fuck, I don’t know why I’m beating around the bush,” Ellie bursts out. “When I was nineteen, Joel almost died. A bunch of fuckers broke in and tried to rob us, and they beat the fucking shit out of him-” her voice cracks, and her fists are white-knuckle bunched in her lap- “and he was in a coma for months.

“I watched it happen,” she grinds out, “and I couldn’t stop them.”

“Jesus, Ellie,” Dina breathes.

“It was- it was really rough- and I’m not saying this so you’ll feel sorry for me, I promise I’ll get to the point,” Ellie rushes. Dina realizes her eyes are full of tears. Ellie turns her head to the sky and scrubs a tattooed hand over them roughly as if they’re an annoyance, and she keeps talking.

“While he was out, I didn’t take it well. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know how I was supposed to live in a world without him if he… didn’t make it. So I fucked everything up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I ruined my own life.” Her voice is quieter and steadier now. “I was so angry, and so  _ lost _ , and I just… fucking imploded. I was in astrophysics halfway across the fucking country, I was gonna- okay, this sounds stupid, but I was hoping I’d be an astronaut someday.” Ellie rolls her eyes and stares at her shoes.

“That’s not stupid,” Dina insists. “That’s kind of amazing, that you were smart enough to get into a physics program.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” she mumbles. “When he was in the hospital, I stopped trying. It didn’t feel worth it anymore. I got signed up to do my classes online so I could stay with Joel until he got better, but I failed pretty much everything, so they kicked me out. So I ruined my future, and then I had to come back to Jackson.

“I didn’t know what I was supposed to do here, so I- I made some bad choices. I drank. A lot. Fell into a bad crowd, got into a few fights. And I’m not proud of it, but… I was a pretty terrible person, too. Cat and I were dating before it happened, and afterward I started pulling away. I kinda treated her like shit.” Ellie grimaces. “Actually, I kinda treated everyone like shit.

“I was angry. It felt… it felt like after everything we’d been through, Joel was gonna give up on me and leave me alone, and that’s what everyone else had always done too. It was stupid to get attached in the first place. I thought it would be easier if I didn’t have anyone who cared about me because they always left anyway.” She sniffles. Dina is tempted to put an arm around her, but the moment feels too delicate.

“It was like I was fourteen again and just pissed off at the world. I got in a lot of fights and yelled at people and tried to put up this huge front that I was an awful person so nobody would come close enough to hurt me, you know?

“It got better, though.” She smiles and shakes her head. “Joel woke up, and I kind of realized I was being dumb. I started picking up the pieces- I went to therapy, which, wow, I should’ve done  _ that _ sooner, could’ve saved a lot of people a lot of money-” she laughs- “and I started taking classes at the community college. Cat put me onto the shop, and I turned out to be pretty good at tattoos, and we sort of made up. I’m fixing shit. So I’m doing way better now.”

“I’m sorry,” Dina offers. “That’s horrible. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks.” Ellie is silent for a moment, and Dina wonders for a bitter split second if that’s all, if she was planning on dumping out a traumatic backstory and hoping Dina would take pity on her.

Ellie breaks the silence, though, and that little bit of anxious resentment in Dina resides. “So I know I have a habit of fucking up relationships, and I was talking about it, and my therapist thinks it’s probably because of a bunch of self-loathing and big words and shit.” She waves her hands, making a  _ yeah, right _ face. “The way I see it, though… mostly, I just don’t want to drag anyone else into my bullshit. I fuck things up, bad, and… Dina, I really like you. I don’t want to fuck this up too.” Her voice trails off.

It’s horrible, yes, she feels for Ellie, but… Jesse’s words echo in her head:  _ this isn’t your job _ . Dina shouldn’t have to fix anyone, and she knows that. “Ellie, you know I can’t convince you otherwise, right?-”

“I don’t want you to. This is my problem and I’m working it out.” Her eyes are steely, and Dina gets the sense that’s an issue she’s had before, ignoring her problems instead of facing them, hoping that something outside herself will fix them for her. “I want to do better. Maybe someday I can say I rebuilt this from scratch. That’s what I want.

“And until then, I have to heal from this.” Her voice is almost a whisper. “So I really am sorry for pushing you away. I want to do better.”

Suddenly, she pulls her bag into her lap and peers inside. Carefully, she puts both hands into the bag-  _ what is she doing? _ \- and gently, so gently, pulls out one of the ugliest bouquets Dina has ever made.

“Here.” She offers her the flowers. “I know you probably already saw them, but I only know one flower shop in Jackson, so…” Dina takes them gingerly, wrinkling her brow and smiling, a little confused. Her fingers brush Ellie’s for a minute too long, and it feels like her heart jumps.

“Why flowers?” she laughs. “Not that I’m not grateful, it’s just… I have no idea what meaning you were going for here. It’s kind of a mess.”

Ellie sighs through a laugh. “Yeah, sorry. I knew I’d get them wrong, so I just sort of picked stuff I thought you’d like instead.” She points to the cyclamen, then the fern, and then the two tiger lilies in turn. “You said you liked the cyclay- the- fuck, the little white ones, and we both like fern. And, well… the tiger lily just sort of reminded me of you.” She looks away towards the fading snowball fight and scratches the back of her neck, her face reddening. “It’s bold, and pretty. And I though roses would be pretty basic. You’re way cooler than roses.”

“Thank you for trying,” Dina murmurs, looking down at the flowers with growing heat in her own cheeks. She bites her bottom lip to hide a small smile. Maybe it’s not the  _ worst _ bouquet ever. The colours are kind of pretty together, and she does like fern.

“Listen, Ellie,” Dina starts, and she can see Ellie tense a little, as if she’s already expecting rejection.

“It’s fine if you still don’t feel good about being with me,” she says quickly, “I’m not trying to, like, convince you or anything, I just wanna explain is all-”

“Ellie-”

“- I get it, and you don’t have to take them if you don’t like them-”

“Ellie.” Dina puts both her hands on Ellie’s shoulders, turning her to face her. “Can I please speak?” There’s a hint of a smile in her voice, and Ellie grins and nods sheepishly.

“I want to apologize too.”

“You don’t have to, it’s my-” A look from Dina cuts her off. “Right, sorry.”

“I probably shouldn’t have put you in this position. You- you really didn’t need to tell me all that. I’m sorry.”

“... Can I say something now?” Dina laughs and nods.

“I feel like I do have to, though. I should at least explain why I acted like that. I made you think I didn’t like you, and that was unfair of me. I can’t make you choose to like me less, or whatever.”

“Ellie, I’ve lived in this town almost my whole life,” she admits. “And you’re from here too- you know Jackson never really changes.

“When I met you, I liked you, pretty much right away. And I know I’ve felt like that before. It feels like every time I fall for someone, they- it ends up bad. They end up pushing me away. It’s a shitty pattern. Nothing ever changes in Jackson; same people, same places, same end to everything. It’s fucking soul-crushing sometimes. I like this place, but sometimes I feel like I’m living time in a flat fucking circle.

“I really like you, though.” Dina looks up, right into her eyes, confused and concerned. “You’re sweet, and funny, and  _ different _ , and I really don’t want to lose you.”

“Thanks,” Ellie mumbles.

“I just got nervous that it was gonna fall apart again, and that it would be my fault. I don’t want to be… I think, I really think there’s something here, and I don’t want to let it go.” She smiles, and Ellie returns it, small but present and beautiful. “If you’re willing to try, then… I really want to give this a shot.”

Ellie’s quiet for a second, then asks, “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Dina giggles.

“Cool,” Ellie says quietly, starting to fidget with her boot lace again, but this time smiling a little as she does.

“Cool? That’s all you’ve got?” Dina makes a faux-unimpressed face. “I’m sure you could come up with a better answer than that.”

“Well, I tell you what,” Ellie grins fully, taking Dina’s hand in hers. “If you want, I’ll try to make your life more interesting.” Her calloused thumb rubs over the back of Dina’s palm, and Dina catches the split-second flash of her eyes down to her lips and back.

“I hope you mean that in a good way,” she mutters, and Ellie hums in response. She leans in and presses her forehead to Ellie’s- her pale skin is warmer than her own, and Dina realizes she’s reddening a little, still with the same grin on her face.

“If  _ you _ want, I can make your life  _ less _ interesting,” Dina suggests, holding back laughter.

“Oh, just make it super boring?-”

“Yeah, I could suck all the fun right out of it, nothing exciting at all, ever.” She shakes her head, biting her lip to stay stone-faced, but she knows she’s failing. Ellie looks down and starts laughing, and she breaks too.

When she looks down, she catches a full glance of Ellie’s hand for the first time, the ink wrapping around her skin over faint scars. Across her knuckles, she can make out the bold letters spelling “beck”.

“What’s this one for?” she asks quietly, tracing her knuckles. “You got a hot ex I should know about?”

Ellie chuckles, but scratches the back of her neck, making a face. “Uh, no. That one’s sort of embarrassing, actually.”

Dina waits for a second. “You gonna tell me?”

“I made a bet with Cat, the night I got my job. We were drinking to celebrate, so my judgement was definitely impaired.” She rolls her eyes, but she’s still a little too red for nonchalant. “I lost, so she got to give me any tattoo she wanted when we sobered up.”

She stretches out her other hand, wiggling her fingers, and Dina leans in to read them.

“ _ Beck  _ and  _ call _ ?”

“It’s a fucking sex joke,” Ellie mutters, now bright red. “You know, ‘come at my beck and call’, on my fingers... she was so fucking proud of that.”

Dina bursts into laughter.

“Yeah, laugh it up, my misery is hilarious.” Ellie pulls a grumpy, vaguely wounded face, but it just comes off as cute to Dina, which makes her laugh harder. “I had plans for my knuckles!”

“They wouldn’t have been better than that,” Dina assures her.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh, you wanna prove that tattoo to me?” Dina knows this dance by now- Ellie’s eyes widen, and next she’ll look away and laugh nervously, and the moment will be gone by the time she regains her voice.

That’s not what happens this time. Ellie grins, and while she does look a little flustered, her voice lowers a bit and she doesn’t break eye contact. “Save it for the third date, princess.”

Dina feels her own face heat up, and Ellie looks smug as she leans back on her hands and takes a final sip of her mocha, perfectly casual and so goddamn hot. “What, cat got your tongue?”

“You’ve been able to do that this whole time?”

“What do you mean?” She can’t quite tell if Ellie’s serious with the way her eyes glint in the filtered light through the tree, but it doesn’t matter either way. She hops off the wall, feeling Ellie’s eyes tracing her as she goes.

“You’re infuriating,” Dina grins, turning to face her, carefully holding her flowers in one hand.

Ellie shuffles off the bricks, pulling her bag- now looking much lighter- over one shoulder, and moves to stand right in front of Dina. The distance is small, and feels even smaller to Dina, like the world is caving in to push them together. “I think you like me, though. I seem to remember you saying something like that.”

Dina just shakes her head, biting back a smile and holding Ellie’s gaze through her lashes. Now this,  _ this _ is what she had been wanting, and it’s exhilarating to feel the blood thrumming through her, the sweat in her palms at the way Ellie is smirking at her. Like she’s fascinated. Like she’s  _ wanting _ .

Ellie takes a step closer, and Dina realizes just how close they are- inches between them. She feels something in her loose hand- Ellie, sliding her hand around hers, and her calloused fingertips dragging over her palm gives her shivers that make her thankful for the cold weather as an excuse.

“Is this okay?” Ellie asks quietly. Dina hums in affirmation.

“I really wanna kiss you,” she whispers. Her eyes are bright, just a sliver of green around her pupils. Dina feels lost somewhere in the depths of them.

“Please do,” Dina whispers back.

Ellie brings her other hand up to Dina’s cheek, cupping it, barely making contact with her skin. She gives Dina’s hand a squeeze under her own, and then, like she can’t hold herself back anymore, her lips are on Dina’s too.

Her kiss is hard but gentle, caring, but hungry too. It feels like weeks of careful consideration thrown out the window, years of secrets and scars that she’s just now ready to reveal. She kisses Dina like she can read her mind, like she already knows her. At some point, Dina carefully brings her hand to Ellie’s waist, and at some other point (could’ve been before or after- time doesn’t seem to matter right now) Ellie lets go to hold her face in both palms.

Dina pulls away first, and Ellie chases her lips, giving her another small kiss through a growing smile.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Dina giggles.

Ellie makes a spluttering noise, indignant, and Dina tilts her face into hers as she laughs, bumping their noses together. Ellie’s expression quickly turns to a slightly bashful smile, and she drops one hand to wind it back into Dina’s, letting the other rest on her shoulder.

“Well, aren’t you glad I did?”

“Definitely.”

They stay like that for another moment or two, barely inches apart, and everything feels as if it’s calmed down just for them. Ellie kisses her shyly again, and Dina pecks her on the cheek as she finally pulls away.

“I should be getting home,” Dina murmurs, almost at the same time as Ellie asks, “Do you have any plans for the night?”

She laughs, and Ellie scratches the back of her neck, her eyes flicking away for a second. “Not unless you count getting drunk and watching  _ How to Get Away With Murder _ again.”

“Getting drunk on a weeknight?” She lifts a scarred eyebrow.

Dina rolls her eyes, shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket. “If you’d had the customers I’ve been having lately, you’d be drinking too.”

“Ah, sounds fun then.” There’s no double meaning in her voice, no unasked question of  _ can I come too _ \- she genuinely just looks happy that Dina’s going to have a nice night.  _ Oh, Ellie _ . Dina figures the better part of her reactions have been caused by her explanation, but there’s clearly still some left that are due to sheer obliviousness.

“I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to join in, though,” she adds slowly.

“Oh,” Ellie mutters, so quiet Dina nearly doesn’t catch it. “Yeah, definitely. Sounds great.”

“Great.”

“Can I walk you back?” Ellie’s voice is quiet, but she looks hopeful, and happy in a new way Dina hasn’t seen on her before. She takes it upon herself to slide their hands back into place and notes how well they fit- Ellie’s pale fingers, shot through with black ink, and her own small, tan palm linking like a puzzle. It feels a little stupid, but her first thought is that it’s like a sign- this one’s gonna work out. This might just be where Dina belongs.

She could be happy like this if it all works out, with this strange girl who is her opposite in so many ways, who could fill in the cracks if Dina wants to do the same for her.

As they walk, she finds herself closer than may be strictly necessary. Their shoulders brush with the short distance, but neither of them seem to mind.

When they reach the cafe again, Ellie doesn’t let go of her hand immediately, swinging it between them a little with a small smile.

“So, how does six work for you?” Dina asks.

“Sounds good. I’ll bring over some drinks?”

“Oh, you really don’t have to-”

“No, I want to.” Ellie gives her a lopsided smile and lifts their joined hands, brushing a kiss to her knuckles. “We can share. It’ll be nice.”

Somewhat reluctantly, Dina thinks of the last of her dessert in her apartment. “You know, I actually have some cheesecake if you want, too.”

“Oh,  _ fuck yeah _ , I do.”

They chat for a minute longer- jokes, details of their upcoming first date (they have a  _ real date _ tonight- the thought makes Dina’s stomach twist) and a lot more flirtation from Ellie than Dina had been banking on (not that she’s at all upset). Ellie lets her go with a smile and another quick kiss, and it’s practically all she can think of on the way home.

She texts Jesse- just a quick “i’m okay, date tonight” with far more exclamation points than strictly necessary- and spends the rest of her time alone racing around tidying up, setting out snacks and changing her outfit four or so times to burn off nervous energy. Dina feels like a teenager, but in a way, it’s nice. Something tells her this will be good.

Her new flowers go in a vase in her kitchen. She’s careful to put them somewhere they’ll get just the right amount of light that they need, and well, if that means leaving them on the sill where she knows she’ll see them and smile every morning, then it’s not a drawback at all to her.

Valentine’s Day still sucks and flowers still seem something of an annoying bragging right, but maybe there’s something about liking Ellie, about her liking Dina, that makes her want to brag a little.

_ Cooler than roses _ . Now there’s a compliment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's all, folks!! whew, this one was hard work. i've never written a multichapter fic before- i tend to get distracted or lose passion for it halfway through, thank you adhd- and honestly?? i like how this one turned out. i'm proud that i was able to stick with it to the end, and i'm proud of the quality of writing it drove me to reach. thanks for comin along with me, and for all your comments and support <3
> 
> but here's the thing... this might not be it for these two. i really like the universe i've created here, and i want to maybe keep playing around with it in the future, so keep an eye out, i might do an extra one shot or two sometime :D i already have one idea for a SIMILAR universe (not quite the same...) that if i ever get time to write i think could be fun lol. here's hoping you'll get to see it :) and i will for sure be back in march for elliedina week!!
> 
> again, thank you all sm. as always, if you want to yell at/with me i go by the same username on tumblr, and i always love hearing from you in the comments too. lmk what you thought (and if you caught the teeny tiny ref to one of my personal favourite fics)!! how was the apology scene?? thoughts on our lad jesse being the greatest friend as per usual?? did my stupid sex joke land?? i wanna knowwww :0

**Author's Note:**

> hey again!! god i'm so thrilled to be back aughhhh,, this idea has been in the works since october, so i am so unbelievably pumped to finally put it out into the universe, especially since it's my first proper chapter fic (not counting "mine"- that one was originally written in one long section). i hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i did cooking it up!!
> 
> a quick housekeeping note- i'm gonna be posting this one a little differently than i normally would (ie weekly on friday nights). since this fic takes place around the same time i'm posting it, i'm gonna update in real time! if, say, there's two days between when this chapter and the next chapter take place, i'll update again in two days. if it takes a week and a half, though, i'll update in a week and a half. hoping that idea lands for you,, i just thought it'd be sorta cool and maybe you guys can get to feel impatient along w dina and ellie lmao. also the chapter names aren't super deep or anything, i just thought it'd be fun to do a little classic rock theme in honour of Badass Tattoo Artist Ellie- they more fit the Vibe(tm) of the chapter than have any major lyrical connection
> 
> as always, i go by the same username over on tumblr, so if you want to yell at/with me you can message me or shoot me an ask. i've been talking abt this one a lot over there, so sometimes you might see writing updates lol. if you don't want to do that, though, you can always comment right here too!! it's fresh funky and free and i really really love interacting w you guys <3


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